THIS MOI’S TIPS FOR LIVING

Today I introduce a groundbreaking new series:

This Moi’s Tips for Living

And now the tips of the day:

TIP ONE


1. Don’t avoid bringing up race with your white friends* (This is a a tip that seems obvious, but is also the hardest to do)

Look, I know, you dont want to create tension.

Look, I know, you don’t want someone to say something that will destroy your ability to be friends with them.

Look, I know, …um we’re talking about art right now ok?

Look, I know, you dont want to make someone feel bad.

Look, I know, you’re the only brown person in the group.

Look, I know,

But listen

When you fail to address certain comments (no matter how well meaning) everyone loses (…first time I have ever used that phrase in my life).

Stop handing out passes.

Yes, with silence things will remain comfortable and pleasant

But you’ll know

You’ll know someone has a certain thought about a certain something and that certain thought about a certain something will dive deep down and set up shop in some inconvenient part of your body. It will probably be your stomach because it is the roomiest.

The person with the certain thought about a certain something will be robbed of the opportunity to learn something new. To hear a new perspective, to hear that some things are offensive and the reasons why. Sometimes people just don’t know and are thankful for the discussion. Your friendship will be much closer because of it.

Or, if we wish to take it there

The person with the certain thought about a certain something will never get the opportunity to have their asses handed to them.

No white liberal likes to have their racial awareness called into question (if your pals are conservatives, you’ve made your bed)

But you damned well better speak up anyways

Its your experience and it will not be denied

If this moi has anything to do with it**

Do I really need to talk about the nature of friendship and who our “true friends” really are? Because I am not that posi of a person and that might have to wait until next month.

I will add this: Sometimes its too much for certain people and they peace out. Be prepared for this. It is unfortunate and painful but really, if they abandon ship…(see previous paragraph)

TIP TWO:

2. If there is a junk store that is never ever open and it hasn’t been for 10+ years and it happens to be on the same block as your house, break in. If you know anything at all about the world, you will know that it is probably magic.

TIP THREE:

3. Wear eye gloss. Its just the best. Don’t be a baby about creasing.

TIP FOUR:

4. Eat a variety of colorful vegetables.

TIP FIVE:

5. When underwear gets raggedy or worn out looking, don’t throw it away. Save it for period days.

TIP SIX:

6.  Take it down a notch

—–

*Or your colored friends

**Has absolutely nothing to do with it

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5 Comments on THIS MOI’S TIPS FOR LIVING

  1. Tip One is vital. Sigh. I wish I had read this in high school. But it’s still important to remember. Thank you. Oh, I really like This Moi; been reading it for a while. Sorry that I never commented until now.

  2. Danielle on 5 April 2010
  3. [...] This Moi's Tips For Living | This Moi "When you fail to address certain comments (no matter how well meaning) everyone loses (…first time I have ever used that phrase in my life). Stop handing out passes. Yes, with silence things will remain comfortable and pleasant But you’ll know…" (tags: via:kartina racism nopasses friendship) [...]

  4. links for 2010-04-06 | Racialicious - the intersection of race and pop culture on 6 April 2010
  5. I love everything about this post. (Came here from Racialicious.)

  6. sarahhf on 6 April 2010
  7. I enjoyed your “colorful” tips for living.

  8. He He He on 8 April 2010
  9. thanks for this. SERIOUSLY in need of more life tippingtons.

  10. Margaret on 14 July 2010

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